It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
