I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
