Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
