You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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