Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
