Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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