I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
