Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
