Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
