If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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