is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
