Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
