How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
