i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he shaved USA in his pubs
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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