Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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