Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
