$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
