While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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