Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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