Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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