I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
