You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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