Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
