shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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