just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
