he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
