Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My penis needs a shock collar
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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