HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
