Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
