i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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