my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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