bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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