Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
