sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
