my vag is so smooth its legendary
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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