I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
