1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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