people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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