It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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