Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
