apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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