Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
