OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
