He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
