So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Everything about him screamed your future.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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