It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you win again, gameday.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
