sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
