ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
