he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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