let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wish my penis had a tongue
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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