Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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